Its been twelve months since I was hurled aboard that runaway cancer train. In a lot of ways I am so glad this wretched year is at an end. But in others, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
That must sound strange.
Of course I wish that I hadn't lost my breast and my hair. I certainly would have preferred not to have endured the hell that is chemo and radiation. But had I not gone through it all, I wouldn't have experienced the immense avalanche of kindness and love that came with it.
Because of my cancer, I have grown into a person whom I like a great deal more than the me of twelve months ago. Because of my cancer I now look at life from a different perspective, from a place of gratitude. Because of my cancer I have learnt that I am capable of enduring so much more than I ever thought possible and have developed a new found confidence, fear simply doesn't have the same hold over me the way it used to.
And for that, I am glad.
And so, fare thee well 2013. Thank you for the good and precious moments but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
I'm welcoming 2014 with all its possibilities and the hope that a fresh year brings. My New Years Resolution is to seek JOY in the every day.
My cancer journey isn't over, I still have another mastectomy to get through in the first half of the year, but its a small price to pay to reduce the risk of breast cancer returning. Besides, I look at it as a chance to even up again.
We are still hoping to somehow buy that house we fell in love with, which, despite being a huge, long term reno project, gives me a great thrill. It would be completely amazing if we could pull it off, but if it doesn't come through we will keep looking. What is meant to be is meant to be. I'm handing it over to the Universe.
I want to thank each and every one of you for your incredible support and encouragement this year. Thank you for all of your comments and emails, thank you for sharing this blog with others and thank you most of all for sharing this year with me.
I wish you all a beautiful New Year's Eve and may Twenty Fourteen be a year of good health and great love. See you on the flipside!